To the person who broke my heart 2 days before 2014…

photo by The CW

 Cheers! Here’s to you! That’s what I said on our New Year’s Eve celebration. Cheers to the person whom I thought were entirely different from all! It was a very timing party. I was very thankful for the New Year to come because I have a reason to celebrate what you did to me. I was having fun eating what my mom cooked for us for our Media Noche, and drinking the perfect drink (liquor) to welcome 2014. And then, suddenly, I heard Miley Cyrus’ trending hit, the Wrecking Ball. While drinking, I thought it was a perfect time for me to enjoy and sing my heart out after what you did, so I sang with Miley… “Yeah, you, you wrecked me…” Excellent choice of words, Miley! Totally relatable! It was like I’m telling the world all of his bullshits just be singing with Miley. I continued to sing because no one knows what I am feeling in that very moment. They thought that I’m just being me, the one who always loves to sing. So to the person who broke my heart 2 days before 2014, I hope you’re happy. May you have a wonderful 2014. Your plan worked. You broke and wrecked me.

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I trusted you. I was actually willing to put my heart on the line again just for you. I want to be with you. I even felt the need to let go of the memories and the person whom I have loved just so I can be happy with you. I never asked you to pursue me. I never begged you to love me. Why did you have to do it to me? I thought you were different. You showed me something really wonderful, you changed my view on love, but now, you proved me wrong. You proved it all wrong. I thought I was going to have that fairy tale story with you. I thought I can really say that I’m the luckiest girl to finally found you, but I am wrong. You made me feel loved and cared for. You showed me this whole new world wherein I felt that I was really the most special person for you but you take it back so fast. Now, I don’t know what to feel towards you. I also don’t know what to do with you. You lied to me for crying out loud. You made me feel so stupid. You made me doubt myself and you made me question my self-worth again. Honestly, I don’t know if I have done a really big mistake to all of you for you to do these things to me. I just hope that if I have, I am now paid. You hurt me and you finally broke my heart.

What you did to me is just so mean and disappointing. Are you that cruel to do that?

Photo: NBC - Friends

Now, you’re telling me that you love me and that you’ll do everything to prove that, but I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I can’t just accept you and forget all of your lies. You’re still hurting me, and as much as I want to just hug you, kiss you and forget everything, I just can’t. I've been so true to you. I actually think that I like you very much however I still can’t trust you now. I’m sorry. I don’t want to be selfish. I don’t want both of us to get hurt but we need to do this. I need this. You hurt me too much. Maybe we’re not really meant to be or maybe we are. Maybe we met at the wrong time, or in the wrong place. Maybe we’ll meet again one day and when that time comes, my heart is not broken anymore or maybe it’s already healed and then we can start again, give it another shot and fell in love without having to think of all the lies, schemes, and mistakes.

I wish I won’t regret my decision of letting you go. I just need you out of my life this time. So for now, good bye and may we be happy with the choice we made.

Photo: CW - The Vampire Diaries

-kath-