To His Past Love...

To His Past Love…

Photo: Gossip Girl

Hi! I know a little about you but I can say that you’re something. You know what, even though I don’t know lots of things about you, I still feel jealous. Maybe you’re so much more than just an ordinary girl, something more that he can’t just leave you to be just part of his past. You’ll never know how much I envy you, how much I wish I can take your place. I thought I can, but maybe I thought wrong. Honestly, I think you’re lucky. You are so much loved by people, and others just can’t let you go that easily. And if you ask me how I can say this, I’ll just answer you with “I know. I just know.” I know because you are lovely, you are confident, you are successful, things which I am not. I thought he got over you. He said I’m the one… that I don’t have to be jealous because now I’m the only girl he loves, of course except for his mother. And now, I know it’s just one of his lies because until now, I can say that you are still the one.

I can't compete with how long you guys had been together. 5 years is such a long time. Our 8 months of knowing each other is nothing compared to that 5 years of relationship. I feel so stupid to actually think that you two are over and that you both have already moved on. I thought he's now ready to love again. I'm also so stupid to believe all that he said. All those sweet lines he said to me that made me feel like I'm special and loved! It is too painful to realize that you are still the one who can make him happy and that he can't just leave without saying goodbye.

He may say the opposite, but I won't let him make a fool out of me again. I'm really not sure if he still loves you that much but I'm sure that he still feel something for you and that you're special. It hurts to know that for the last time, he wants to see you and not me. He wants to be with you and your family. And if that's his way of expressing his so-called love for me, I don't want it!

Maybe you two are really meant to be together. Maybe I’m the only one getting in the way. I love the man but if he really does love you, then I'm out. I'm sorry for everything that had happened. Honestly, I don't know why I'm saying sorry to you but I feel like I need to.

Perhaps the title of this is inappropriate because from what's happening between the two of you, it looks like "past" is not a perfect word to describe it.

-kath.o8-