I wrote this almost 3 years ago. It was posted on my FB account because I don't have this blogger acct that time. I just want to share this one here because I also find it special. There are 2 more notes that I wrote almost 3 years ago, and I already planned to post them here as well. :D
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note: this is not a poem. I just want this kind of format. I don't know but this format made me finish this.. HAHAHA!! maybe it's my charm in writing.. :)
******, the Cyber Dude
April 2009…
Another ordinary month for me,
Ordinary in the sense that it started out like any other month
Every day is not special.
No monthsaries to celebrate. No boyfriend to greet
“Good Morning!”, “Good Afternoon!”, or “Good Evening!”
There’s no special someone whom I can say “I love you!” or “I miss you!”
April **, 2009…
That day, I was totally sad for it made me think
That it was the time when I had to bid good bye to my friends,
And to the person I truly love.
That was the time that I wondered what it’s like to be in College
as well as the time to start forgetting the person who had always been the reason for my heartaches…
Until…
I knew you and changed my life.
We got to know each other with just a click away.
That time, I thought our conversation will just last that very same day,
For I don’t have time to flirt with anyone.
What I just need is someone whom I can talk for that period of time
Because I’m depressed. I feel so alone.
And then, I got the chance to know you well.
We exchanged personal information:
Name, age, location, school, course and many more.
You open my mind about the wonder of being a TEACHER.
Honestly, at first, I don’t feel like opening my account on YM,
But I felt something.
It’s like something pushed me to open it.
My instincts said that.
So I signed in and joined a room,
Something I’m not really doing.
I just did it for fun and for me to have someone to talk to.
That day, I never expected that I will know you.
I got to know the person who will love me with all his heart.
May 31, 2009,
A very special day for me,
The day you said “I love you!”
I believe it for I felt the sincerity.
But maybe, we are born to just met and know each other.
We are born to be just friends,
As well as to be hurt by each other.
We’re not meant to be happy,
To share a wonderful relationship.
For, we’re just two ordinary people who are not compatible.
We’re too different.
I'm childish, you're matured.
I’m a drama queen, you’re grown.
Sometimes you’re warm, sometimes you’re so cold and mean.
You’re too straight forward, looks like you’re really into it. (you're really into what we have)
We’re like cat and dog. Enemies!
Maybe, we just need to accept that our differences will always make us fight.
And it will just lead to our misunderstandings.
I’ve doubted you, your feelings for me, and your sincerity.
I’m sorry.
I was too blind because of my feelings for him.
I have taken you for granted, for whom?
For someone who cannot see my worth?
For someone I considered my everything?
I was overruled by my feelings.
Now, I feel like someone like him. Numb!
I accused him for being so numb, but right now, I think you also considered me as such.
I’m sorry!
 |
| Photo: Bridget Jones' Diary |
If I could just erase, forget my feelings, I will do it.
If there’s anyone that I wanted to be “THE ONE”, to love, it’s you. Why? because you love me and care for me too.
I like you but I know it’s not enough. I care for you but that’s not what you want.
You want me to love you, to be yours. That flatters me.
I want also to love you, to be yours and you to be mine but, I can’t.
It’s true, I really want to but I can’t, because of one person that has always been the reason why I can’t love someone who love me back.
Someone like YOU...
- I want this to be on my novel. I don't know if it's good enough but still, I want this to be there because it's very important to me, especially because it is for the person who has played a big role in my life. Maybe, unlike the others, he has been a part of me for just a short period of time because it last for just a year however, this person was the one who have made me feel so special and that I'm worthy to be loved.
I want to share this story of us. It's a simple story about my journey of being loved by someone but still cannot be happy with him. I have given a chance to met someone who will love me with all his heart but I cannot love him back because of the fact that I'm still torn with the person whom I've been loving for so many years now. :|
Sorry to disturb you. If you don't want to read this, it's okay with me. If you received this note, it only means that you're very special to me so I'm sharing this story with you. You can just erase it after reading. Thanks a lot! :)
-kath.o8-
07/20/2011
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