sad truth :(

I like you, I want you.

I think I’m falling in-love with you.

You want her, you like her.

You’re in-love with her.

Where will I go?

Where is my place?

I want to be with you

But you dream about her face.

^_^

for you...

This is for you...

Picture from:

 http://www.wallcoo.net/holiday/valentine_lovers_valentine_couple_08/wallpapers/1280x800/003_cartoon_vector_couple_lovers_ktqrj_2008.html

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I will be the girl you can count on

Everything you need in a split second

I will give you my world

And you’ll be the center of my universe

You have that smile which lightens the mood

The love that I needed the most

You have the potential to be everything I need

At least, the one I’m praying for Him to give

For once in my life that’s what I feel for you

You belong here, with me, just us two

In this dream I’ll stay with you

Just don’t want to miss my chance of being with you

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Realizations after watching She's the One

          After watching one of the Star Cinema’s most romantic movie of 2013, She’s the One, I had thought of my experiences in my very own love life and how much I want to write about it and share it so that I won’t think of it every single day. It’s hard not to express your feelings and keep it all to yourself, right? So here it is.

          I’m reminded of three men in my life. Three men who had been so special to me, three men whom I think I won’t forget and will always be part of me.

          Actually, when I watched the special preview for ‘She’s the One’ on Cinema One, there’s someone who said something like this, “It’s something that everyone can relate to. Lahat naman tayo nakaranas na ng maghintay, umasa, na dumating yung araw na kaya na ring ibalik ng taong mahal natin yung pagmamahal na binibigay natin.” When I heard this, I was like, “Oh my! I’m definitely going to watch this one.” That’s my reaction because upon hearing those words, I know that I’m one of those people that that person is referring to. So I watched it and yeah, I can relate to it. First, because of that statement above that’s really evident in the movie. Because just like Cat (Bea Alonzo), I have a hopeless crush (Oh! Definitely not just a simple crush, I mean, love) on someone for a very long time. In the movie, for 10 years, Cat’s been keeping it all to herself and just continued loving Wacky (Dingdong Dantes). We are in an almost same situation and maybe having the same name as Bea in the movie was not just a coincidence. Maybe it’s a sign or maybe just a simple reminder of what situation I am in. Actually I can really see myself to Bea’s character. They always say that I have high standards, even my guy best friend always says that to me. But the truth is, I don’t have standards when it comes to guys. I think I don’t even have the right to set standards that are so high like duh, me? Of all people, I know that I can’t even be choosy. Maybe when my physical appearance looks something like Blake Lively or Anne Curtis. What they can’t just realize is that I don’t really have standards, the thing is, I just have one person that I really love. There is no guy that I think is good enough for me because I already found the guy whom no one can replace here in my heart. The only thing that’s stopping me from giving myself and someone a chance is that the standards that they say I have can only be seen in one person and that is the man of my dreams, the person whom I love so much and the person who also hurts me this much.

       From She's the One New Trailer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWl1P3qIO7Q

          

      Actually, there’s another reason why I’m really looking forward to see this movie. It is because lots my friends said that I should watch it for my ex-best friend. They think that I can relate to it because I had a best friend a year ago. This movie is for me, that’s what they say. He was actually my classmate since high school and we’ve been friends since then, but the friendship grew and we became best friends since college. It was never in our plan to become best friends in the first place but it just sort of happened. We got so close that every day we text and call each other. We also got to the point wherein we can’t stand not seeing each other, that’s why he used to go to my university so that he can accompany me home. Yeah, we’ve been so close that we used to call each other ‘til midnight. Then, another unexpected thing happened, we sort of found ourselves liking each other until he asked me about what I would feel if he courts me. I don’t know what to feel that time, I know that I also like him but I’m also sure that I’m still in-love with the person that I’ve been waiting for so long. Another thing is, we’ve been best friends, I can’t lose something as special as that. I can’t help but think of what we can lose in the process. Having a best friend that will always be there for you is so not easy to find. Trust me on this one, guys. It’s really hard to find, just like finding a perfect partner who will always be faithful to you. It was as hard as that, really, and I can’t put that on the line. I have been wanting to have this kind of relationship for so long  ̶  a best friend who will be there forever. We can’t act so foolishly and lose the great relationship that we have. So, I decided not to ruin everything and lessen the time that we see or talk to each other so we won’t think of the growing feelings between us. I really thought that this is the best for us. I can’t stand the thought that I’m doing sweet things with him. I mean, yeah, we’re sweet as bffs but not to the point that we do things that the couples do. I really can’t do it with him. I felt that it’s a sin so I set some limitations. After that, he found someone and until now, they’re still together. We’re like strangers now because her girlfriend doesn’t want him spending time with me. She doesn’t like him talking to me or meeting me. We’re now like strangers. We don’t text or call each other anymore. I now lost my guy best friend. What I am so scared to lose when we were still best friends had vanished. Maybe we were really not destined to be together, even if as best friends or lovers.

From She's the One New Trailer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWl1P3qIO7Q

          The other guy that I’m reminded of is the man whom I considered the too-good-to-be-true guy. He’s the guy who makes me happy these past few months. Actually, I had known him from a social media application. We just had fun talking and knowing each other, and then we met accidentally. Not planned at all. We sort of knew one another now but still in the stage of getting to know each other. If in the movie, Enrique’s character is a lot younger from Bea’s. With me, he is a lot older. He’s already a professional doctor and I’m a fresh graduate. I always think of the age difference but they told me that in all guys, that’s what I always do. I’m looking for things that I don’t like so that I won’t fall for them. At first, I really haven’t notice that I have that attitude towards guys. It just happens. Maybe they’re right. I only look and dream for one person that’s why I’m like this. Maybe what I really need is to get over with this person that I really love. Stop making my life revolve around him and start having a life loving myself and the people who love me. Make lots of friends and live happily until I find that perfect person whom I will love and will love me back. Maybe now, no love can be good enough for me because I am so engrossed with my dream of being loved by him. Letting go and loving myself more are the answers to my problem.

-kath.o8-